27 Ways to Tell Your Parents You Don’t Like Stir Fry

I do like stir fry, by the way. I am posting this in honor of the great Bean of YWP NaNoWrimo, a.k.a. Topazly, a.k.a. lot’s of other nicknames I can’t currently remember. Anyway, here’s a list of both unrealistic and semi-realistic ideas:

1. Write a poem about it.
2. Embroider the words “Mum, I don’t like stir fry” onto a towel
3. Write it on a T-Shirt
4. Compose a song about it
5. Casually bring it up in conversation.
6. Write a 95 thesis containing all of the reasons you don’t like stir fry and nail it to your kitchen doorway.
7. Slip a note about it under someone’s pillow
8. Slip an angry note about it under someone’s pillow
9. Rent a boat, pillage your house of all necessary stir fry ingredients, and dump everything overboard in the dead of night (preferably while in Boston)
10. Frost “I Don’t Like Stir Fry” onto a cake (the cake is a lie)
11. Feed it to a tribble.
12. Feed it to a hungry dwarf smuggled secretly under the table.
13. Hold a respectful and diplomatic family meeting concerning your reasons for disliking stir fry.
14. Cast the stir fry into the fires of Mount Doom
15. Paint a HUGE banner about it and hang it at the top of a tall building.
16. Make your brother do it
17. Write a note in lemon juice explaining your feelings along with instructions to hold the note up to a candle
18. Make up a dance routine. Your parents will be so awed by your amazing skills that they won’t care if you like stir fry or not.
19. Create a national “I Don’t Like Stir Fry Day”
20. Change your name to “I Don’t Like Stir Fry”
21. Write a novel about it
22. Or, when writing an author biography for a novel, surreptitiously slip in a mention of your dislike for stir fry
23. Create a superhero called “The Stir Fry Annihilator” and make a costume, imagine powers, and write a themesong. Then, present your superhero to your family.
24. Pretend to be Spock and list all the reasons why it is logical to dislike stir fry.
25. Pretend to be Darth Vader and cut the stir fry down with your almighty lightsaber
26. Tell your parents you are the captain of an airship and will not tolerate such nonsense as stir fry.
27. Post about it on your blog


4 thoughts on “27 Ways to Tell Your Parents You Don’t Like Stir Fry

  1. Ok, this post has won me over. Keep up the charming absurdity! 🙂

    (I’m a NaNo person, by the way. writethewrong)

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