14 Reasons to Always Carry a Hardcover Book

1. Books can be very handy while standing in a long line–whether you use them to while away the time or whack the people in front of you out of the way.
2. Similarly, books provide instant entertainment in any situation in which you have to wait.
3. Don’t feel like talking to people? Read a book.
4. A hardcover book will provide the perfect disguise for any ordinary burglar, spy, or detective: simply sit in a public area and peer at people non-suspiciously over the top of the pages.
5. Having a book makes you look innocent. Veeeery innocent. No officer, I did not rob that bank across the street, I was just siting on this park bench here reading my book.
6. If you are going somewhere and you need to look important, bring a thick book with a title like “Inconclusive Enigmas of the Pestilential Proprietors” and be seen reading it. People will assume you are dedicated, studious, and intelligent.
7. Contrary to #3, if you have to talk to someone but don’t know what to say, just talk about the book you’re reading.
8. Depending on how you present yourself, carrying a book can either make you friends or make everyone leave you alone, whichever is more to your tastes.
9. You can learn so much from books. Education, people.
10. The book is mine. My own. My precious.
11. Worried about self-defense? Carry with you the thickest hardcover book you own at all times, and you can hit someone over the head with it if needed. NOTE: This only applies in situations where someone else instigates the aggression.
12. They make very comfortable pillows! …sort of.
13. If you don’t want to be seen by someone, a book is a great thing to hide behind. Their gazes will pass right over you.
14. You’ll never be without a friend if you have a book by your side.

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6 thoughts on “14 Reasons to Always Carry a Hardcover Book

  1. Yay, you’re back!

    …I should make dust jackets for my hardcover books with titles like “Inconclusive Enigmas of the Pestilential Proprietors” so people leave me alone because they think I’m reading something boring and then they won’t bother me about the latest plot twists. 😀

  2. My leave of absence was unacceptable. *nods gravely*

    That’s a good idea, actually. All those pesky relatives, coming up to me in the middle of a family gathering to ask me what I’m reading even though the entire point of my reading is so that I won’t have to talk to pesky relatives.

  3. When I was doing my A-levels, I would read Keats on the bus for revision and if strange men came and sat by me when there were loads of free seats I would turn and read a poem aloud to them. It usually got rid of them pretty quickly…

  4. Pingback: There Is (Never) Too Much Information About Books | Musings From Neville's Navel

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