Fabulously Facetious Friday

It’s Friday! Or at least, it is in my timezone. And that means it’s time to carry on the tradition of ever-so-occasionally posting quotes from my Quote Book, a little notebook I carry with me at all times to write down the strange things I hear people say. Snarky comments may or may not be involved.

“You know you’re late to dance when you’re buttoning your pants in the street.”
Thought I’d start out with pants, since approximately 20% of the quotes in this book involve pants. So…yeah. Pants.

“Actually, all the people are dead by now, but I added some more screaming because I thought it would go well with the elevator music.”

“Why is there a tooth in my slipper?”
“Ohhhh, that’s where it went!”

“You could put your ear on an injury and use it as an ice pack.”
It’s a cold winter, what can I say?

“I’m going through the carcasses of your lunch.”

“Will you hold my phone? I need to put my pants on.”

“Why are you guys so excited about murder?”
“Because we’re writers and we murder people for a living!”
I didn’t say that…noooo.

“Some people are good at everything, like me. I excel at architecture and animal husbandry.”

“I remember your dog, he’s definitely dead.”

“Do you think if I mixed Cheetos in with my rice noodles it would make them taste less like soggy cardboard?”

And finally…
“It’s Jack Harkness, how is he supposed to keep his pants on?”