22 Ways to Ask Someone to Dance With You

The end of year dance is coming up in two weeks today, and that may seem like a long time but I’m already stressing. I’m going with a girl I can barely form coherent sentences around, much less ask to dance. I have the bad habit of being either awkwardly silent or babbling incessantly in her presence, but I don’t want to do that. I want to look cool. So here are 22 cool ways to ask a girl–or anyone–to dance with you:

1. Walk over to her. Look at the ground in a cute, abashed way, and run your palm through your hair backwards, intentionally messing up your hair. According to my Sources this is a primary queer girl flirtation ritual. (My Sources being the LGBTQ+ blogs I read and my real-life nonstraight friends who do this constantly.) I have tried doing this with my hair but it doesn’t quite work because it’s too long. After this, look up and say sheepishly, “So…I was wondering…would you like to dance with me?” You look cute and irresistible and it probably won’t be hard pulling off the embarrassed part.

2. Grin at her, hold out a hand, and say, “I don’t really know how to dance, but wanna give it a shot?”

3. Optionally, do the same thing as in #2, only say, “I’ve been practicing my moves for weeks. Care to help me test them out?”

4. Or you could get even cheesier with “Come and get your groove on with me, baby!”

5. Or you could say “Screw this I know how to dance” and grab her hand and pull her onto the floor with you.

6. Casually drop not-so-subtle hints during conversation to get her to do the asking. “I really like this song. It’s good music to dance to.” “So I learned how to waltz the other day.” “Yeah, I was trying to practice slow dancing in contemporary women playwrights yesterday, but it wasn’t really the same without a partner *wink wink nudge nudge*”

7. Write her a song, ask if you can perform it, go up there and own it, and then afterwards when the crowd is going wild over your musical genius, sweep over to her and say “Dance with me?” in a cute, flirtatious way.

8. Or just, you know, ask her flirtatiously to dance. I’d provide an example but my knowledge of the subject is limited to Captain Jack Harkness and I don’t think I can really pull off the same charismatic appeal.

9. Write DANCE WITH ME? on the front steps with sidewalk chalk.(Because of that one time, when she was like “Do you have sidewalk chalk?” and you were like “Yeah I have sidewalk chalk!” only you couldn’t find it and were so upset you resorted to overusage of the word “like.”)

10. Look her squarely in the eye and ask her if she would like to dance with you. (But come on, who does this? Eye contact? Pfff…)

11. “Hypothetically speaking, if someone in your immediate presence were to ask you to dance with them, would you, hypothetically, say yes?”

12. Go up to her and twirl her around, then when she’s laughing pull her out onto the dance floor. Works best for faster songs.

13. You know you’re going to be awkward with her. I mean, come on, you’ve stared at the moon together, alone on a balcony on a rainy night, but never even so much as hugged because you’re too afraid. So own your awkwardness. Stutter. Blush. Stare at the ground. Trust me, it’s cute. As long as you get across the general impression of “Would you like to dance with me?” you’re good to go.

14. Start quoting song lyrics at her. “We spun around a thousand stars / I dreamed a dance with you / I know the night is dying, dear / I know the day will dawn / the dancers may disappear / still the dance goes on.”
…Maybe those exact lyrics don’t really work, but I never pass up an opportunity to quote Next to Normal.

15. Optionally, quote poetry at her. As my Shakespeare teacher once told me (and as they say in Dead Poets Society), poetry was invented to woo the girl of your affections. And also possibly to lyrically state universal truths and metaphysical concepts while working for social change. Possibly. But also for wooing. I know poetry by no means makes everyone swoon, but I can assure you that if a girl were to quote some Emily Dickinson or T.S. Elliot at me I would probably faint conveniently into her arms. I have many many favorite poems, but right now I adore “To a Stranger” by Walt Whitman and “somewhere i have never traveled,gladly beyond” by e.e. cummings. My favorite lines from that last one are “i do not know what it is about you that closes / and opens,only something in me understands / the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses / nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands”

16. You could get even more specific with that and take a leaf from the Bard. “If I profane with my unworthiest hand / This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:/ My lips, two blushing pilgrims ready stand / To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” (Romeo, you flirtatious person you.)

17. Draw her a picture explaining your proposition.

18. Just become Daenerys Targaryen (circa the beginning of book 3, since I’ve not read farther and who knows where her character arch could end up).

19. Get your friend to do it.

20. …just kidding, don’t do that or you’ll look like an idiot. Get your house elf to do it for you, since no one can resist adorable fictional creatures and also they have magic. Just be sure to pay them in socks.

21. Frost it onto partially-burnt loaves of bread and toss them to her unsuspiciously.

22. Find the Doctor, hop into the TARDIS, and pop off and have some adventures, which will make you courageous and bold. Then time travel to the dance, ask her while you still have the confidence, and then when you go back to your own time to wait for the dance, once it happens you’ll have already asked her and there will be nothing to worry about. (Don’t ask me how my logic works on this. I’m not even sure myself. Wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey.)

Okay, if I even had the courage to try any of the slightly more reasonable ideas from my list, I couldn’t pull it off. I have resigned myself to awkwardly sitting at a table in the corner and making puppy eyes at the back of her head. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled. Any additions to the list you may have (silly or otherwise) greatly appreciated. Genuine advice even more greatly appreciated.

I Have An Idea!

Actually, it was my Mom’s idea. But oh well.

I keep a quote book. It’s a list of all the random, amusing, or unusual things I overhear that I keep in a little notebook, which I carry with me most of the time. My Mom came up with the idea that every time I post on a Friday, I should include a few quotes from the quote book. I liked this idea, so I’m starting a tradition.

Before I post today’s quotes, I’d like to ask you not to use these quotes for anything. I have written them down mainly because I hope to include a few of these lines in a future novel. Thank you. And now for today’s quotes:

“I tend not to judge people based on their bowel movements.”
I heard this in French class one day. This quote is the reason I decided to start writing down the interesting things people say.

“I licked her face today and she still complimented me!”
This quote comes from a particular student in my advanced geometry class. Funnily enough, quite a few of the quotes in my book come from him.

“I could probably fit my whole fist in your mouth.”
Another quote from the kid in my math class.

“I don’t like pants.”
And again.

“He wasn’t even wearing pants today.”
It seems we’re carrying on a similar theme.

“How do you accidentally lift up a teacher?”
I do not know.

Well, that’s all for today. What are some interesting things you’ve overheard people say?

Seeking Empathy

em·pa·thy
noun \ˈem-pə-thē\
Ability to imagine oneself in another’s place and understand the other’s feelings, desires, ideas, and actions. (my thanks to http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy for the definition)

Today in my Intro to Theater class we performed skits written and created by ourselves entitled “Me”. The skits were profoundly moving, causing tears and sobs throughout. It was as if each person had poured out their heart and soul to the class, which indeed they had. I learned things about my classmates I never knew or suspected. I felt honored that my friends had chosen to reveal such personal things to me. I also felt guilty.

Nearly everyone performed about the dark sides of themself. Certain images stand out to me: a girl writing a letter on the window to her dead father, promising never to forget him, making him promise never to forget her; a boy stuffing pictures of the evils of the world into a jar labeled “Bad Things” and throwing it away; a girl repeating the same line again and again, “Mother, why doesn’t anybody like me?; a girl, one of the kindest and most talented I know, saying “I am an accident”. People spoke of masks, abandonment, death, anxiety, loss, self harm, feeling trapped, alone, afraid, unwanted. And I felt guilty.

Guilt is something I have begun to struggle with more and more as I grow up. My friends talk about all the horrible, unbelievable, traumatizing events in their past, and all I can think is I am not worthy. I am not worthy to be their friend because I haven’t experienced nearly as many evils as they have. My problems seem trivial in comparison. I am not worthy because, as I haven’t gone through what they have, I cannot adequately understand them. My problems aren’t huge, and therefore they aren’t really problems at all.

Whenever I start on this track of thinking, I bring to mind a quote from a book by Julia Alverez called Finding Miracles. “Nothing is small if the heart feels it.” I have problems just like anyone else does, even though they’re smaller than those my friends have. Maybe my father didn’t abandon me, but I have still felt alone and unwanted. Maybe I wasn’t severely bullied in school, but I have still felt the need to wear a metaphorical mask instead of being myself. I have felt grief, loss, pain, loneliness, sorrow, and fear without having to experience the horrors some of my friends have had to go through. I can empathize without having been traumatized. I’m an actress, it’s what I do.

I always think of empathy as putting oneself in another’s shoes. In the definition given above, empathy is described as the ability to imagine oneself in another’s place in order to understand them. It does not say the person needs to actually be in that place. I can be there for my friends without having gone through what they have. I seek to adequately understand them, but maybe the word “adequately” is subjective. I understand their emotions, if not their experiences. That’s adequate enough, isn’t it?

I’d like to end this post with a few lines from “Light”, a song from the musical Next to Normal.
“Day after day
Give me clouds and rain and gray
Give me pain, if that’s what’s real
It’s the price we pay to feel
The price of love is loss
But still we pay
We love anyway.”

Freshman Year Highlights

I was going to post my review, but it really is awful, so I think I’ll post that once I’ve edited it. However, the school year is winding down (a week and a half left!), so I thought I’d post a reflection on my first year of high school.

I’ve heard many people talk about how horrible Freshman year was for them. I’m on the complete opposite of the spectrum–I thoroughly enjoyed this year. It was definitely one of the best school years I’ve ever had. This was partially due to my classmates. I go to a performing arts school, and I have my two arts classes every day with the same group of people. At first, I expected there to be a lot of drama, my school being an arts school and all. I have had no real drama in any of my classes, and for that I am grateful. Aside from that, my class is just a wonderful group of people. We’re like a family. We’ve grown close over the course of this year.

Often times artists are not treated kindly growing up. Many of the adult actors I know say they were social outcasts when they were younger. It’s not that bad for me, and I was never severely bullied like many of my friends, but I never really felt like I fit in at my old school. I loved the place, but I was also lonely. At my new school, many of us can bond over not fitting in anywhere else. We fit in with each other, and that’s what’s important. For the first time, I’m friends with everyone in my class, or at the very least, on friendly terms with everyone. It’s a lovely feeling. I trust them, and they trust me.

Another thing I love about my school is the location. I won’t say where it is, but it’s a campus in a very beautiful area of a city. We have open lunch, and recently it’s been warm enough to eat outside. Some students play the guitar or the ukulele, so there’s nearly always someone playing music outside during lunch. It makes everything even more pleasant. Lazing on the grassy knoll. chatting and laughing with friends under the cloudless blue sky, taking silly pictures, a strumming of notes in the background–what more could one ask of life?

My classes themselves are fascinating. That’s not to say I enjoy every lesson, I get bored in school like any other normal student, I just like my classes and teachers overall. My favorite academic classes are probably English and French. English has always been a favorite subject of mine because I love to read and write, and I have really good teacher this year. The teacher of my French class is what makes the subject so interesting. She’s a great teacher, she gives us plenty of speaking practice and has games for us to play to practice vocabulary. We’ve also gotten to do fun things like make masks and watch a movie in French.

I’ve had many interesting arts classes as well. My favorite classes first semester were dance and artistry. We spent about half the class period warming up in dance, but I loved being inside the studio and thinking, how many schools have their own set of dance studios? Then I’d ride the escalator to the first floor and think, how many schools have an escalator? Artistry was fun because most of what we did was writing/performing our own skits in groups. I’ve always loved this sort of thing, and some of my classmates have brilliant ideas.

This semester my favorite arts classes were probably singing and acting. I love to sing, and I didn’t get to first semester. We had to sing Italian art songs because of juries, presentations of a song, monologue, and dance in front of your class and a panel of judges in a professional setting to show what you’ve learned, but it was still fun just to get to sing in class. Sometimes afterwards we’d walk down the street to our next class singing. To practice for juries, we had to sing solos in front of the class, which was terrifying at first, but ended up being kind of fun. I really liked acting because our big project this semester was scenes. The scene I was assigned was amazing, and it was really fun to work on. My character was a very different character than I’m used to playing, so it was an enjoyable challenge to play her.

Now that I’ve bored you with information about school, I’m off to make a Mothers’ Day card for my mom. I’ll try not to neglect my blog, though I’m quite stuck on what to post. Any ideas? It’ll be easier to post more this summer, because I won’t have homework. I suppose I will have vacations…ah, well. Happy almost not quite yet summer!